....another Mother's Day...

Today is not just another Mother's Day for me. I do take them seriously and take them to heart. Now that my 6 yr old is older and in school, she brings home many Mother's Day presents. Even today I received not one but two flowers from my younger children who really don't get what today is but that's okay....I cherish those presents also. The sad thing is...those pretty purple flowers will not last long in this house. I do not have a green thumb.

Mother's days used to be very hard on me. I tried to avoid them as much as possible. For eight years I sat through Mother's Day service after service trying not to cry and wondering why can't I be a mommy. Did I question God? Sure I did. Did He tell me why? No He did not. Even after my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage I asked why? Was it to be able to minister to other women who go through the same thing. YES! Shortly after, I was able to minister to a young bride after her first miscarriage. And now she too has been blessed with 3 children.

My heart still goes out to the wives who are trying to get pregnant and can't or have had a miscarriage or more. I don't know the answer as to why? But I do know this. That only peace will come through your dependence on Jesus Christ who knows all and is all. Will each time you hear of someone expecting or another Mother's Day rolls around get easier? Probably not. But be happy for those who are or becoming Mother's and be glad you have a Mother if she is still on this earth no matter how your relationship is with her. I do pray that if the desire in your heart is to be a mom, then you pray without ceasing, and you pray that God opens your womb as this was prayed for me. I am so thankful for the power of prayer. After many years, God has blessed me with two daughters and a son. And I cherish this Mother's Day.

Still Amazed!

I was looking over my blog wondering why I have not written anything in months. I read over the comments that have been posted from the beginning and it still amazes me what I went through to get baby J here safely. The comments and prayers from such dear friends and people I have never met brought tears to my eyes. I have had or having a rough time. Spiritually I am not were I need to be and that affects everything within me. I'm trying...trying hard! I know the Lord is with me cause thankfully I can still feel His presences. This to shall pass and my joy will be renewed but only with my Jesus' help.

Here we come Mickey!!

I remember the day I made all the plans for our Disney trip. I posted on FB that we only had 160 days till Disney. That seemed like it was far away but it got here. It has been almost a month now but since before Thanksgiving...someone in our home has been sick and I haven't been able to sit and write. Well...even today, I'm at home and not at church cause Joseph and Jena are snotty and coughing. But I'm going to try and write something, even if it takes a few tries.
Our trip to Disney would wind up being the second busiest week of the year. The week of Thanksgiving. But oh well....we were going and our names were on the books. We left 45 minutes behind my schedule but with tears in my eyes we pull out of the driveway about 6:45 am Saturday morning. The tears were from leaving Jena behind. She was in great hands though. Her aunt Cretia was gracious to take off work and stay with her for us. Jena is too little and was sick, so she stayed home. Even though it was tough it was the best decision.
Our first stop was around 7:45 and a false alarm with Jaci but Joey and I got us some coffee, 2nd stop around 10:45am, which was potty break for everyone and to find a drug store for cough drops and cough medicine at the local Walgreens. I ran in and when I came out it was a funny sight. Joey had Joseph and Jaci out side doing jumping jacks. I guess getting their blood flowing in their fannies for some more sit down time. I was wishing I had my camera. By the time we got gas and back in the road it was 11:15. We had gone 257 miles and that meant only 215 miles to go. The ride was good for the kids thanks to Scott and Dawn for letting us borrow their DVD player.
The next stop came after we got into Florida and we stopped at the rest area and I had packed us stuff for lunch. That was fun and relaxing. While I made sandwiches, Joey and the kids ran around getting some exercise. We ate and the kids played some more and then we were off....next stop....The Disney All-Star Resort!!!
We pulled in at 4pm. And we were ready to get out and stretch. Jaci said that this would be home for the next 5 days. Check-in took some time and our dining plans were taken care of and we were ready to go to our home for the next 5 days. Just your normal hotel room but with Mickey ears!! We unpacked and then it was time to try out this dining plan. This turned out to be great. Joey, Jaci and I got meals and were able to share with Joseph. There was plenty of food to go around. We didn't do much this night just hung out at the resort anticipating the next several days.

Sitting back looking at this makes me think of the many things in life that we anticipate.
~Christmas
~Christmas presents
~Birthdays
~the birth of a child
~that phone call from our loved one or a friend
~eating that dessert you made or someone else
~eating your next meal
~your next vacation
~a warm cup of coffee
~a babies first word or step
~getting out with friends or family
~girls night out
~a trip to the mall
~going to church, wishing I could be there now

So many things we anticipate but none of these should we anticipate like we should anticipate our relationship with Jesus Christ. Who is the reason for this season, the reason that we even have a Christmas Day. Jesus is not only the reason for the season, He is the reason for everything. Why? Cause He is everything and the reason we are here today. But yet so many do not choose Him. And they spend eternity with out Him. Our relationship with Jesus should be the most important thing in our life. Make Him to reason for everything...everyday.

Dear Jena

Yesterday was your very 1st Birthday. I sit and think about your life so far. You did not come into this world in the normal traditional way. I think even then you had your own way of doing things. You came early, tiny, dark headed, kinda tan, and having the longest toes. Weighing in at only 4lbs 12 oz but God had His hand upon you the in tire time. I have no doubt in that.
Only seeing you in pictures that your daddy had taken the first 24 hours was not easy. I was ready to hold you but yet scared to. You were so tiny and had many tubes and IV's were taped to your body. Within hours of your birth you were able to breath on your own but we still had many hurdles to jump before you could come home. Breathing on your own was one, being able to eat and hold your own heat. Weight was not so much an issue. I had to leave the long stay of the hospital without you. That was one of the hardest things I have had to do. But I knew you were in the best care possible and that God was with you. I was able to call and check on you as often as possible and not being able to drive yet, I had friends like Amy to help me get to see you. I had to still work out for someone to be with Joseph and then after your daddy got off work he would come and see you and we would go home together. Grandpa was able to help out too so that I could stay with you longer.
Our first days together were spent snuggling and lots of holding. I was given the freedom to take care of you just as if you were at home. Eighteen days may seem like a lot but your homecoming came on Thanksgiving. The night before we stayed in a room just the three of us with nurses standing by for the just in cases. You came home with a apnea monitor cause you would sometimes take to long before your next breath and the monitor would sound. And man was it loud. We finally put a mussel on that thing.
Due to the cold/flu season, you were not able to have many visitors. You would have easily gotten sick. For four months you and I stayed in the house unless we went to the doctor. It was tough but well worth it. It was my duty as your mom to keep you safe from sickness, even if it had to hurt some feelings. LOTS of things happened in that time frame and your first day out was to visit the folks at Campbellton and then Easter Sunday at Prays Mill. It was nice to get out and see people.
Jaci and Joseph both loved you the first time they laid their eyes on you which was Thanksgiving day. Jaci was instantly mommies helper to her new baby sister. Always wanting to feed you and hold you. Joseph loved on you and still does. Being the youngest you will see a lot. What to do and what not to do. Learn fast! Your milestones have always been behind but nothing to worry about. You seem to be catching up quick. Your able to wear some 12 month clothes and on your birthday decided to walk many steps. Today your not studying it.
We have been blessed to have only common colds and a case of eczema. You still have your blue eyes and dark hair, 4 teeth, saying a few words.....momma and dadda of course but when you smile it makes me smile. I'm so proud to be your momma and praise the Lord for it.
I will pray for you that God will protect you and guide your learning all the days of your life.
I could go on and on but I know one I will share with you more of your story. I'm looking forward to seeing what God is going to do in your life. I love you so much my Jena-pooh!
Mommy

One year ago today.....

As I got out my journal from one ago, it starts out saying,...Where the journey began..... And I have to say it has been a journey. Amazing, crazy, sad, upsetting, and even depressing things have happened in the last year. It started on a Wednesday as a normal day but as the day went by things did start changing for me. I won't go into all the details but by that night I went to bed feeling different. Thankfully we were able to get Joseph and Jaci into bed on time and I was able to got to bed. Things would quickly change. I got up around 11:30 to go to the bathroom which was normal but when I went to bed I could not get comfortable. I was cramping and then it happened. My water-broke!! I ran to the bathroom, hollering to Joey and we both knew this was not good. I was 28 weeks pregnant and it was too early for my baby to come. I started praying that the Lord would protect this baby and thoughts went through my head that this baby was not going to make it. Fear was in the house!!
We got to the hospital and had to go through a test but it was quickly determined that I was not leaving. I was going to have to stay till this baby was born and they wanted to try to get me to 34 weeks. My water had broke but not completely. The baby would continue to replenish it's fluids and I had to stay laying down......the whole time!!
Joey leaves later to get Jaci. Today was the day she was going to get her skin tag removed from her ear. It was a big day...in more ways than one. I had to get my thoughts together and start making phone calls. Family, friends, church, school...making arrangements for people to stay with Joseph during the day, who was only 15 months old at the time. He needed his mommy and I wasn't going to be there for him for several weeks. I just knew that he was going to forget me. Dr's came in and out that day. The most scary of all was the NICU Dr. Dr. Metcalf!! He started out saying that if I had the baby today there was a 90 percent chance it would survive. But everyday that I was pregnant was a good day. I need to go as far as I could. So it was set, that was the goal for everyday. Be pregnant and stay pregnant. Nurses even wrote this on my white board so everyone would know!!
By Friday night I finally got moved from the triage room and into my home away from home. Room 68. I had some visits, and calls which helped. But most of my stay was just me and my baby trying to stay together as long as we could. Baby J!! We did not know if the baby trying to come early was Jena or Jake, so baby J was the name. So many of the nurses thought a boy. They just did not know that the little feisty baby within was a tough little girl.
The days would be long and the nights went by great thanks to Ambien. I won't go through all the detail but I learned a lot about myself and how God is in control over all things. And sometimes He has to get us flat on our back to see this.
Just some things.... are that people really do care, my family can survive, I have a strong husband and that I need let go of some things and trust in the Lord and stop trying to do things on my own. I find myself getting back into the old routine sometimes and memories of my stay in the hospital become fresh on my mind and sometimes it gives me chills.
This story does end good. The day Jena was born was scary enough. Having a pre-lasped cord and being rushed to the OR, being put to sleep, not knowing still if my baby was going to make it. I woke up with Joey by my side and he was able to tell me that Jena was doing ok. She would have to stay in the NICU for several days. Since I had a C-section I would not be able to see my little girl till probably the next day. But Joey took pictures and she is so beautiful.
One day I think I may write a book about this journey for my kids. There is so much more to be told.
Today Jena is 11 months, 18 lbs and just about to walk. She has dark hair, blue eyes and a beautiful smile. She is a mommas-girl and has every right. I'm so thankful to my family that God has given me, I truly feel blessed.

Birthday Boy!!!

Joseph turns "2"
Every little kid needs to go to Toys R Us on their birthday. Joseph got a cool hat, balloon, and they announced his name and how old he was over the intercom. People all over the store told him "Happy Birthday." I don't know about him but it was exciting for me.





Even though we are experiencing some of the "terrible two's," he is still a great joy in our family. We are amazed at how he operates. He is a little boy with a little vocabulary but he knows what you are saying and can do whatever you ask him to do. For whatever reason he chooses not to say many words right now. But that is really OK, in time I will want him to hush and dream of these days of little words.

He's got a great big smile that can make you smile, and I love that. He's so friendly it's almost scary. He will walk up to anyone and let them hold him if they offer. Maybe that means that he will be a friendly little-guy all the days of his life.
Don't get me wrong....he can be a stinker. Just like a few minutes ago he went right up to his big sister and hit her for no apparent reason. But he does that...comes up and hits you. Is that a boy thing?? I don't know.

He has had many bumps and bruises this year. His poor head has had many falls.... he is only 25 pounds and probably 15 of it is his head. He has a big head for a little boy. When he was 15 months old we took him to Scottish Rite for a CT scan cause even the Doctors were concerned about the size. He was "off the charts" as they say. But our Great Physician is greater than any test or doctor and everything came back normal. His last well check showed that his head has not grown since around 15 months. So they believe his body will start to catch up with the size of his head.
It wasn't long after that when he was 16 months old and I was pregnant, my water-broke at 28 weeks and that night I went to the hospital and did not leave the hospital till after I had our baby. That was 4 long weeks in the hospital and many times I thought that since Joseph was so young that he would forget who his mommy is. But every time he got to come to the hospital, he knew exactly who I was. I sometimes wonder why our family had to be separated for that time in our life but the outcome was well worth it. Plus, God's Word tells me in Psalm 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."
We got reacquainted after I got home, well..... after Jena got home, since we were home-bound with Jena for about 4 months. Thankfully he still takes a nap and he likes for me to rock him. That is always a sweet time, unless it's really late and I'm tired and ready to get to bed myself. I'm just being honest. Then it's "close your eye's and go to sleep....NOW!!"
It's getting time for potty training, he nods his head that he is ready so we shall see here in the next week or so. I got to get myself pumped up for it. I already have an extra bottle of Resolve and just need to get the pull-ups and we will be ready to go. I hope...
All has turned out well and I have my Lord and Savior to thank for it and so many other things in my life. Joseph moves up in Sunday School this Sunday and will also go to the Mother's Morning Out program at Central in August, but just for 2 days, that's all I could handle.
Give Joseph a big "High-five" when you see him!!
Blessings to you!!

Jaci's year as a Kindergartener....

It seems like yesterday that we were all getting ready to walk out the door on her first day of school and she says, "Come on family...lets go to kindergarten." And that's just what we all did. Now the year is over and she graduates to 1st grade.

Jaci received many awards....
~Accelerated Reader award
~Running Award-37 laps
~Awesome Art Award
~Music Award
In her classroom,
~Friendship Award
~Learning over 100 sight words
~For being a Great Line Leader
We are very proud of her and all her accomplishments.

At her friends birthday party at Snip-its, she got the "Diva" look, and let me tell you, she was proud of it. It lasted for Sunday and Monday for school. You can't see it but glitter is all over her head. Just had to throw that in there...






Thinking back at the first of the school year Jaci experienced new things. She had a great first day of school..I was relieved. I was more worried about her carrying that big lunch tray without spilling her milk and going to the bathroom with me than I was about school work. Now the second day (no..I'm not going day to day) while she was in the bathroom waiting at a door, a girl swung the door open and Jaci got hit in the face. So I was ready to come and get her when her teacher called to tell me what happened. She had to have some ice but recovered quickly and she was not devastated like I was. It took me a couple of days to get over. I was ready to sign up for bathroom monitor.

Within the year she:
~started Awana at Pray's Mill
~Played soccer (not my favorite for her)
~we had the flood and missed many days of school
~Had to be without her mommy for 4 long weeks
~Had her skin tag removed from her ear (her wishes)
~Got a new baby sister in November and mommy got to come home
~Had some snow days that meant no school
~got pink-eye twice
~got strep three times
~got her 1st "boyfriend"
~got her 1st phone call from her friend (not the boy)
~Lost her great-great aunt Ora Belle
~She got to sing in her 1st Children choir
~She and I got to go to our 1st mommy/daughter tea
~played softball with the Lil Angels
~Had her 1st trip to the Varsity and Braves game (she walked the field)
~The last week of school she missed two day because of sickness.

I think she had a great year and I'm so thankful for the teacher she had, Ms. McLendon and Mrs. Wessinger, and we are praying for her 1st grade teacher...whoever that may be.

Our little princess is growing up way to fast for me. The summer will not be long but I pray that we make the best of each day we have no matter what we do.
Blessings to you!!