Friday, October 15, 2010

One year ago today.....


As I got out my journal from one ago, it starts out saying,...Where the journey began..... And I have to say it has been a journey. Amazing, crazy, sad, upsetting, and even depressing things have happened in the last year. It started on a Wednesday as a normal day but as the day went by things did start changing for me. I won't go into all the details but by that night I went to bed feeling different. Thankfully we were able to get Joseph and Jaci into bed on time and I was able to got to bed. Things would quickly change. I got up around 11:30 to go to the bathroom which was normal but when I went to bed I could not get comfortable. I was cramping and then it happened. My water-broke!! I ran to the bathroom, hollering to Joey and we both knew this was not good. I was 28 weeks pregnant and it was too early for my baby to come. I started praying that the Lord would protect this baby and thoughts went through my head that this baby was not going to make it. Fear was in the house!!
We got to the hospital and had to go through a test but it was quickly determined that I was not leaving. I was going to have to stay till this baby was born and they wanted to try to get me to 34 weeks. My water had broke but not completely. The baby would continue to replenish it's fluids and I had to stay laying down......the whole time!!
Joey leaves later to get Jaci. Today was the day she was going to get her skin tag removed from her ear. It was a big day...in more ways than one. I had to get my thoughts together and start making phone calls. Family, friends, church, school...making arrangements for people to stay with Joseph during the day, who was only 15 months old at the time. He needed his mommy and I wasn't going to be there for him for several weeks. I just knew that he was going to forget me. Dr's came in and out that day. The most scary of all was the NICU Dr. Dr. Metcalf!! He started out saying that if I had the baby today there was a 90 percent chance it would survive. But everyday that I was pregnant was a good day. I need to go as far as I could. So it was set, that was the goal for everyday. Be pregnant and stay pregnant. Nurses even wrote this on my white board so everyone would know!!
By Friday night I finally got moved from the triage room and into my home away from home. Room 68. I had some visits, and calls which helped. But most of my stay was just me and my baby trying to stay together as long as we could. Baby J!! We did not know if the baby trying to come early was Jena or Jake, so baby J was the name. So many of the nurses thought a boy. They just did not know that the little feisty baby within was a tough little girl.
The days would be long and the nights went by great thanks to Ambien. I won't go through all the detail but I learned a lot about myself and how God is in control over all things. And sometimes He has to get us flat on our back to see this.
Just some things.... are that people really do care, my family can survive, I have a strong husband and that I need let go of some things and trust in the Lord and stop trying to do things on my own. I find myself getting back into the old routine sometimes and memories of my stay in the hospital become fresh on my mind and sometimes it gives me chills.
This story does end good. The day Jena was born was scary enough. Having a pre-lasped cord and being rushed to the OR, being put to sleep, not knowing still if my baby was going to make it. I woke up with Joey by my side and he was able to tell me that Jena was doing ok. She would have to stay in the NICU for several days. Since I had a C-section I would not be able to see my little girl till probably the next day. But Joey took pictures and she is so beautiful.
One day I think I may write a book about this journey for my kids. There is so much more to be told.
Today Jena is 11 months, 18 lbs and just about to walk. She has dark hair, blue eyes and a beautiful smile. She is a mommas-girl and has every right. I'm so thankful to my family that God has given me, I truly feel blessed.